Who else feels that as a general rule, you're spinning your wheels? There is so much work for my family to do, that there is no way for us to do it all. I'm spending more and more of my time working, more of my time watching other people's kids, and less time doing anything fun or productive as a side project than ever. My house is a mess, I don't have time to get a haircut, and my poor husband is sinking in the mire of schoolwork, a garage that needs cleaning, and a mound of yardwork that may never be fully accomplished. On top of all that, my boss has offered to me the opportunity to go to school, and I don't have time to even look for a course, much less take one. It makes me wonder how people ever decide that it's a good time in their life to have kids. If we had kids, one of us would have to quit our livelihood, which may free up more time for housework, but I can only imagine that if there were just one more person's worth of laundry to do in this house, I might end up in the funny farm. Not to mention having an additional screaming human being in this house on top of the two that are already in here. How does anyone ever have time for a hobby?
In the course of my day, I run across all kinds of statistics that are used to prove all kinds of things. Some people say that the younger generation suffers because we're lazy and we waste all our time playing video games. Some say that we suffer because the cost of life has skyrocketed since the baby boomers had to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and that since they had everything cheaper, they have no right to criticize a younger generation that is in insurmountable debt (not my household, thank God.) Some people say that we're all selfish and that's why we're having fewer kids. On the one hand, people say that if a woman makes less than $40,000 per year at her job she should stay home to have kids because the family won't break even. Then I ran across a career counselor that argued that women are horrible human beings for intending to stay home to raise kids: that that sort of job is best left to minimum wage workers and that men are overburdened trying to provide their wives a lifestyle that will allow them to stay home and raise kids (that the man didn't even want). The point is, there are a lot of conflicting points of view here, but I'm of the opinion that Nathan and I are two smart, hard-working, interesting people that have hobbies and interests and have our lives together. We've made good decisions, we don't waste our lives on drugs or video games, yet we still can't get ahead in life to the point where I'd be able to start my own business, which has been my dream since I was 16. And the more I live, the less I think I'll ever be able to be my own boss, or go back to Greece to see my family, or afford to have a kid (or ever spend time with that kid).
I guess I'm feeling pretty disgruntled. I scratched off this post in five minutes. Now I'm heading to work.
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7 comments:
I feel disgruntled a lot of the time. I DO have free time, but it's getting to be less and less. When I realized how much I'm going to have to devote to school, and I'll still be hard pressed to finish this degree in three years with all the courses and student teaching they want me to do...
Ugh. I do play video games when I can spare a little time, though, because they're a hobby of mine.
I say have the children...I'll move to Portland, take all the baby pictures, and babysit for Freeeeee!!!!
Awesome, you're the best. Speaking of people moving places, I'm actually about to send you an email. Don't worry, it's not about me.
Hey, I know how you feel. Lately I have been (and most often) feeling the same way. As for children...I have had many tell me that if we all waited till we had enough money (you'd be surprised what you make due with), or finished a large goal or got a bigger house we would never have children. I wont lie to you and say that after having Dylan that all went smooth but I take great comfort in the fact that he is my child and friend for life. No matter how bad things have gotten in the stress department or how low the money gets at times one hug from that kid makes it all worthwhile. For people who care and make things work these things just all work themselves out. As for time to yourself, you have to set that. Schedule an hour or so a day where it is just your time. Dont let work rule you. I know you are a great worker but burning out isn't gonna do you or Nathan much good. Believe me I was on the verge. You have many people who care about you and we wont let you go crazy, well not too anyway.
Oh yeah, I forgot. GET TO SCHOOL. Its amazing how better we feel when we learn something that is interesting. Makes one feel less like a worker bee and more human.
And it is ok to have kids (just dont go all Walton on me). The population issue will be ok if you replace yourself and Nathan with munchkies. Besides I think theyd be great kids!
You guys are so great! Work has settled down a little bit and I'm feeling a bit less crazy. I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel and my mood has accordingly swung upward. To be honest, a small part of my outburst was spawned by an unrelated incident on Friday night that is still pissing me off...just one small thing in a string of similar small annoying things. But I won't talk about it right here. Suffice it to say that I'm ready to start my own subculture.
Subculture in a petri dish? Do we get uniforms or anything besides our surly demeanors to separate us from the simps? Does being a member entitle me to medical? Naw, I hear you. I have thought about buying land and starting my own self sufficient army of miscreants. Hard thing is getting the funding for such a venture. Banks tend to not lend money for that type of investment.
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