As many of you may have pinned down over the time you've known me, I rarely curse. I don't mind it in the least when other people do (and tend to get my jollies hearing it), but I've always made a concerted effort not to. I've taken a tremendous backslide in my self discipline in that area over the past year, and I'm not sure exactly what caused that. I think it started during a frustrating time and then never fizzled back out.
On Sunday, I was walking with Nathan and we were chatting, and I let the big one slip. You know, the mother of all four letter words. In my recollection, I can only remember having said it once before in my life...to my mother of all people. The funny thing was, I wasn't particularly agitated at the time; and I was certainly not angry. I was speaking animatedly about something I had a strong opinion about, and it just slipped out before I even realized it. I think at that point I paused, looked taken aback, and said "wow, I can't believe I just said that!" I'm not particularly proud of myself, and I am going to make a concerted effort to re-train myself to stop this pattern, but it brings to mind some questions.
The original reason I stopped cursing was out of a strange realization when I was about 17 years old that cursing was trashy. I made a promise I'd quit it. It took less than a year to revise my thinking that it was trashy, but I still felt proud of the way I'd trained myself to cut it out entirely. Over the next five years or so, I probably let about one or two slip per year. This year, I've probably let about 3 or 4 slip per day. But I'm thinking about why I decided it was trashy at the time, and I'm thinking about how society views it today. Even back then, over ten years ago, no one but little old me and the residents of my little social group thought it was trashy or even bad. But I think it's gotten more socially acceptable even since then. I'm not angling for justification of my behavior, but I am curious as to what your opinions are on the matter.
Curse words are certainly still unacceptable in certain situations. Church, the bank, the theater, in front of children...most people make at least some effort to not curse in these places and situations (except ex-Navy sailors). But our generation seems to have even more acceptance of it than the previous one. What do you guys think? Is my meter of society's perceptions skewed because of the people that surround me? Is cursing still wholly inappropriate in the majority of social settings? Does it still convey the same meaning to people that it did ten years ago; that the speaker is purposefully trying to offend? Has the F word completely lost its meaning and potency to become just another noun, adjective and verb? Are all the other words not even curse words?
Here's another point to consider. Part of what brings this up is something that has been happening more and more. I've noticed that people I've only recently met (even in the first five minutes) feel comfortable cursing around me. Sure, it's always been people in my age group, from about ten years older to me to ten or 15 years younger. Sometimes, it's clearly a test to see if I'm a "normal" person who can live with that. And I think it may be to test more than just that, but I haven't pinned down what. Other times, I think it's just because there is no such thing as a bad word to my generation.
Sub topic: what words did you not know were part of the bad list until after you uttered it in the wrong place? I never knew that words like piss, bastard and sucks were considered to be bad words until years after they'd become a standard part of my usage. Sure, I knew they weren't completely nice words, but I thought that they were only mildly stronger than words like debt, lie, and stupid; even in the same class maybe.
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7 comments:
Hey Xtina, just stopping by to say hi, etc.
Yes, I do think in general society has come to accept swearing more than the past generation. A good example of this is just watch TV, or listen to the radio. The FCC guidelines have obviously changed as I hear more of what I would have assumed to be "swear words" 5-10 years back. In my opinion a lot of it has to do with how society tends to get more and more accustomed to violence etc the more they see, and consequently what was grossly out of the question gets more and more acceptable. Anyways...
On a different note, btw you can check out my soon to be Baby's blog at babybackman.blogspot.com.
Wally
WALLY!!!!!!!
Prude and proud! lol
Wally! I'm going straight to baby Backman's blog!
Although I agree that it is society as a whole that has rejected the 4 letter word, I must interject that I am ex military as well and know the power that is behind the vocabulary. On one hand it is trashy and I agree but it can be very effective in certain situations. Remember that we give it power, it really only is a word. Your reaction to it is what gives it the power.
P.S
It does seem trashy but to make myself feel better (much like shooting a gun more powerful, less vulnerable) I may spew them from time to time to give emphasis to the message. I am not an ignorant Nazi but there is a psychology behind it.
Aw, you know that I don't think it's trashy anymore. I think that was a phase that lasted for a few months when I was seventeen around the time I was realizing what a trashbag Courtney Love was. That didn't mean I didn't still like her music, but it certainly made me think.
Dylan thinks that words like stupid and darn are bad:) I try to tell him that no, to me they aren't but really why correct him? He shouldn't have a mouth like mine.
I think that it depends on the frequency of expletive use. As a rarity to emphasize feeling, then it's more acceptable. But if it's every other word, then it just makes you look stupid. I made an effort to cut down on expletive use because I think it is a sign of a poor vocabularly (and potnetially poor education). Although I may be a rarity (ask Steph about "dumbing down" official documents) in trying to improve my eloquence, vice simplifying my commentary.
It is interesting to see what the FCC will now let fly and what it won't. A** and B*tch are now fair game, but the four letter term for fecal matter is out, and damn is only acceptable without its holy prefix. I'm sure there's a list of FCC banned words somewhere (Howard Stern's website perhaps?).
Either way, whatever someone else says is only as important as you make it.
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