The Forward to End Bad Forwards

It’s a monumental task! But together, we can succeed in ending the stupid forwards that circulate repeatedly across the globe.

Friends, the purpose of this is to rid you of guilt! Consider this your silver bullet. We’ve all gotten hundreds of unwanted forwards over our emailing careers, with comparatively few messages truly worthy of re-sending. And we’ve all been guilty of responding to a forward that we really didn’t enjoy in order to make the sender feel good (“if I get this back, I’ll know you like me!”). Finally, we’ve all been duped into believing a forward’s false message. Friends, we’re all too old to be sending childish forwards, even if we're still technically children. We’re too old to be superstitious, and to fall for the old “you’ll have bad luck if you don’t pass this on.” Yet we still do it. I know we do because I get at least one of those every week.

This isn’t designed to end the truly great forwards. It’s designed to end the bad ones. The false ones. Other false ones. The ones that spread superstitious thought. The poisonously false ones. And it isn’t designed to make anyone feel bad. On the contrary, if you receive this in response to a forward, know that you’re loved. The sender wouldn’t send it if they didn’t truly like you and didn’t know that you can handle hearing this.

Checklist for sending forwards:

• Know your friends and only send them forwards you know they’ll appreciate.
• Fact check all forwards before sending. Go to Snopes, the Straight Dope, the Skeptic’s Dictionary, and Hoax Slayer. They’ll give you the answers you need.
• Don’t ever send a forward if it threatens you bad luck or promises good luck. I have consistently deleted these emails for years and my life only gets better. I promise, you'll be fine.
  
• If you must forward something that you don't wholeheartedly agree with, try this: take out anything in the email you don’t like. No one says “don’t alter this forward at all.” If they start to now, they’ll probably threaten bad luck for doing so; in which case, see item 3.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it:

• Save this message. Use the links as reference.
• Send an initial email blast to everyone you know. Post it on your blogs and as a bulletin on your MySpace account. Post it in the miscellaneous section of any forum you visit. Encourage people to repost it. You will not have bad luck if you don’t. Yes, I understand that this qualifies as a forward. But as you know by now, it is quite different in nature from the forwards that it is intended to kill.
• Next time you get an unwanted forward, reply to the sender with this message. Paste any URL that debunks the message at the top of the forward. Ask the sender to pass it on to everyone they got it from. You will not have good luck if you do, except that you may stop receiving unwanted forwards.
• Tell your friends that you love them frequently! No email forward can say it like you can. Next time you get a forward that compels you to pass it on in order to show your love or your faith, send everyone on your list a real email that tells them what you really want to say. Reply to the sender with this message and with a message that tells them how much you love them, despite the fact that they cluttered your inbox with stupid forwards.
• Do not send this back to me. I’ll know it has worked when I begin to only receive the truly great forwards. The one that made you laugh for days, or changed your life in a positive way. Almost none will fit that criteria. Reply if you must with your real thoughts. I love my friends and love to hear from them.