Today, certain events over the past year culminated to the point of humor. Whenever that happens, it's a perfect occasion to blog, no matter how embarrassing the situation may be to me personally.
Some of you may be aware that the Starbucks Corporation purposefully hires attractive young people to work their morning shifts, because working drones will actively seek out something that makes them happy first thing in the morning. This is the case with the Starbucks by my office. This being the main Pearl District Starbucks, they don't play around with the morning staff. Every person in there is above average in the looks department. So it should come as no shock that even I - the girl who is heart-and-soul chained to her husband - wouldn't be immune to the wiles of The Evil Empire. Alas. There is a little emo boy that has worked at this particular branch at least as long as I have worked at my place of employment.
Once I felt comfortable with my coworkers, I began to joke about this. As long as they understood that my level of commitment to my husband is unwavering, it was funny to be the old married bag that jokes about the little barista boy...or "cute boy" as I have referred to him for the past, oh, 11 months. I find it raucously funny, and I like to think that my amusement with the situation has rubbed off the slightest bit on my coworkers. It certainly has made several of them own up to their own inappropriate morning staff crushes.
Well, a very long time ago, Cute Boy (who is of course paid to chit chat with customers) let slip that his major in college is animation. It was a mere few minutes after learning this bit of information that it occurred to me that it was not so cool or funny that I know this, because once you start knowing things about your barista's personal life, you seem a little less than sane. So I hushed up the information and vowed to myself that I would never again learn anything else about him or any of the other staff, so that I could prove beyond the shadow of a doubt to any accuser that I am by no means smitten with any barista, let alone a whole staff of very personable baristas who remember my drink and name. See how that works?
Earlier this week, the worst happened. The chalkboard at the register said "Your barista today is Dylan." My eyes followed the arrow to see none other than Cute Boy behind the espresso machine. I had a mild heart attack. This is exactly what I was avoiding. But I made the most of the situation by joking about it for the next few days at work and at home. Last night, Nathan told me to stop being crazy, it was obvious that I'm not a creepy old stalker lady; it was an accident, and he understands. We all have these sorts of incidents, and I am gracious enough to be totally oblivious when his eyes roam to where they shouldn't.
With my newfound confidence, I went back to the Whorebucks this morning. Cute Boy says, "How's it going?"
Bleary-eyed Xtina says, "Oh, fine. You shouldn't have started putting your name on the chalkboard, because I feel like I've accidentally learned too much about a celebrity." (This has actually happened to me before, and at 7:30 AM I'm too tired to remember that not everyone knows that story).
He replied "What does the sign say?"
"Dylan is your barista today."
"Oh, that's not my name! My name is John*!"
"DAMMIT!" I yelled, "You shouldn't have told me that!"
He cackled as if he planned the whole thing.
Stupid Starbucks. This is almost as bad as the red cup on top of the sports car incident.
Moral of the story: You're only a creepy stalker if you know too much on purpose. Knowing the name and college major of a person you see virtually every day for a year is decidedly within the realm of "not stalkeriffic" and "totally normal." Even "required in polite society," no matter how visually attractive that person may be.
*name changed to protect the innocent (or otherwise)
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13 comments:
No honey, you're only a stalker when you get caught and they get a restraining order. Tee hee.
I think it is good to every so often see someone that catches your eye. It keeps you alive, it shows anima.
I'm standing out side your window right now.
Breathing heavily.
I wouldn't have it any other way, Missy.
Steph, I agree with you on the anima thing. That's why I'm not particularly emotionally distressed (an neither is Nathan).
Seems like jumping overboard-
Whatever happened to the days where you could go down to the local grocery store or the local hardware store or whatever, and you were a regular, and you and the clerk know eachothers first names (regardless of gender)? Has it become such a rarity that when it happens, its considered flirting if its opposing genders? I think you just accidently reminded everyone just how impersonal our daily interactions have become over the years.
It's not as if you asked the guy out. First name interactions like that are just a way of being friendly - something our society has forgotten how to be lately.
Flint, I mostly agree with you. Except for the "whatever happened to the days" part. Sure, if you live in a village of 5,000 people in Greece like my mom did growing up, you would already happen to know every person's name. But if she had traveled to Athens as a young woman, married or not, it would have been inappropriate for her to just strike up conversations with young men she didn't know.
That has its many social and moral implications (both positive and negative), none of which are totally lost on me. I think the simplest thing to say is that I will forever be influenced by the conservative environment in which I was raised, and I don't think that it's necessarily a bad thing. You know, it's the whole "because you're mine I walk the line" mentality; i.e. nothing bad happens if you don't invite it. Sure, it's silly of me to think that being friendly is inviting it, but I know enough about what it means to be a pushover girl to know that it's best to avoid overt and unnecessary friendliness.
But on a lighter note, you're right. I am being crazy. And I exaggerated for the purposes of amusement.
i think you made a huge exciting step in knowing his name! I always feel bad because i have little mini-relationships with all the lunch people at my favorite restaurants, and they know my name because it's on my credit card, but i never know theirs. what if i'm missing out on a lifelong friendship?
on the otherhand, i forever moved parking spots just because i caught an accidental glimpse of my parking buddy. So I'm kind of with you.
Haha, yeah, I loved that story!
You women get away with soooo much, this all reminds me of EMC Greschuck who had a thing for the offcrew coffee girl.
I agree that women get away with murder, but I don't agree that Nathan doesn't!
We women do get away with so much...but lou, don't think I didn't notice you checking out all the young girls at the GAP store!!!
As the head of security in our relationship it is my duty to review any and all threats, their might be WMD's hidden on somebody's person!
WMD's or double D's?
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